I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
