he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
