you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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