Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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