Pants 0. Shit 1.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Randomize
