i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
