Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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