It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize