did you get engaged???
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
