dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
too bad you live with your parents still
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize