smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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