end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
