I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
she smelled like a LAN party
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
