we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
