my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
