Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
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