Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
