In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I touched a dick in church today
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
