I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
