Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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