All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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