Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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