Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
