do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
