whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
