you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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