I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize
