Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
