Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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