where am i from again
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize