This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
