I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
