Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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