peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Randomize
