whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
