I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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