are you so shy because you have an std?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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