he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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