I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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