After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
