bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize