oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
When did angry sex become our thing?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
