that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
