Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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