so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
