Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
