so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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