If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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