I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
MIDGETS
????
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
