Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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