How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
