Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
smell my finger.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
