dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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