I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
