Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
