i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
