Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
