The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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