it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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