im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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