Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
my being single is dangerous.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
