The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
