Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
