remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
