then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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