It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
