We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
